Giving Thanks

When I received a letter from Personnel Division on last January '06 'bout the status of my employment at my company, I felt worry becaused that meant my employment should be continue or ...the worst case.....end up.

Then, I went to my boss, talking about the letter...and he said he would discussed it with the Personnel Division when he got back from his business trip abroad. Pfiuf...I felt a little bit happy...at that moment.

The next week:
Again, I talked to my boss and he said the same thing as he said on the last week..."I will discuss it with the Personnel Division on Monday [next week]." Pfiuf..."Come on boss. It's already close to the date line the Personnel Division has set to receive confirmation from you", I said to my heart.
I shared this with his secretary....she carefully listened up and said," Don't you worry, Dear (she treats me as her dear brother). I will remind our boss 'bout that. Just do your job, will you?"
Wow...what a words of encouragement!! I had someone to support me :) Thanks Mbak :)

Week after the next week:
I was in Surabaya for three days, doing a survey 'bout customer satisfaction at our branches. On the second day, I received an SMS from my boss secretary...informed me that my employment status had been upgraded to Permanent Employee and there would be a special allowance given. I was so....... ecstatic!!!

Week after the last next week:
I received two letter from Personnel Division; first, was about my employment status which had been upgraded. Second, about my special allowance. The second thing made me very upset!!

How come I will receive that much!! I expected twice or more than...that!!

Comparing to my friend's [we are at the same level but has different boss]...my special allowance is half of his but I've worked smarter and harder than him!!

I felt very dissapointed because of....being treated unfairly...!!!

This happened to me for the last 2 days....and at the end.....as I pondered this kind of unfairness...I came to a conclusion....That my friend received the thing based not on his achievement but the mercy of his boss while I received it based on my performance and conduct. Besides that, I didn't received it with a gratefull heart but a complain to God.

"God, forgive me for this...and teach me to give thank for all You have done...'cause i know....YOU have been GOOD and are GOOD....... to me."